You have the right to read something else. If you give up this right, anything you read here can and will be an unhinged diatribe. You have the
right to go read someone more rational. Do you understand these rights as I have explained them to you?
Still here? All righty then:
A
flyer was recently distributed by America Coming Together, which carried a 60s-era photo of a black man being sprayed with a high-pressure fire hose, and the caption: "This is what they used to do to keep us from voting." If by "they", they mean "the Democratic Party", then, historically, the flyer is certainly accurate. But the flyer goes on to assert that Republicans use "phony cops at polling places - but only in African-American neighborhoods".
Phony cops? What on earth does this mean? Did I somehow miss the epidemic of Republican tricksters in rental uniforms driving patrol cars and causing mischief during the last election?
I guess it's sort of beside the point, since there is so much furor over
real cops at polling places anyway. It's an article of faith among large swaths of the Democratic Party that during the 2000 election, police officers were strategically stationed near polling places in a direct effort to suppress the Democratic vote. Terry McAuliffe, the DNC's National Director of Embarrassing Statements, famously called for President Bush to
"park the state police cars". In order to buy this idea, it is necessary to believe some combination of the following:
a) Cops are such hair-trigger racist nut jobs that minorities should avoid them at all costs, regardless of the context.
b) Minorities are naturally wary of police, because minorities are largely criminals of some stripe or another, and are afraid they'll get arrested.
c) Minorities, sheep-like, vote only for Democrats.
It's hard to decide who should be more insulted by this whole thing: cops or minorities.
According to a piece in
The Washington Post, Fairfax County, VA is
refusing to have police officers anywhere near the polls. Said Maggi Luca of the county Electoral Board:
"I don't want voters to be frightened. Can you imagine how intimidating that would be? We're not doing that."Her view was echoed by Laughlin McDonald, director of the ACLU's voting rights division.
"There's no question that if you were to put police officers and sheriff's deputies at the polling places, it would have an intimidating effect."Got that? In other countries, people have to dodge gunfire, death squads, car bombs, and "Dignity Battalions" waving two-by-fours to cast their ballots, but here in America, the presence of a bored civil servant in a polyester shirt watching the crowds and thinking about how much his feet hurt is enough to reduce steady, thoughtful voters to panicked weeping. What a dipstick.
Listen, you sneering twit, don't know if you've heard, but there's a war going on. A war against an enemy that has repeatedly expressed the desire, capability, and intent to attack civilians in order to disrupt elections. Perhaps to you that's just a neat hook for your fundraising letters, but to us groundlings, it means that maybe, just maybe, a little extra security might be warranted.
Tell you what, the next time someone tells me that I should vote Democrat because they support "first responders", I will labor mightily to reward them with a blank stare in lieu of a punch in the snoot.
I bring all this up because the SCPD has circulated memos to all the patrol areas detailing where all the voting locations are in each district, and ordering us to maintain a consistent visible presence there. So you have agencies ordering their officers to maintain a presence, and people who are bound and determined to loudly interpret any such presence as
prima facia evidence of voter intimidation. Should be a fun election.
I'm just selfishly thanking Divine Providence that Election Day falls on my day off. I really have no desire to star as "Voter Suppression Guy" in the next slate of MoveOn.org ads. I hear those pricks don't pay residuals.
I will, however, be near a phone. Just in case. Fortunately, though, we have been assured by no less an authority than Elizabeth Edwards, Democratic candidate for Second Lady, that there will be no riots...
"if we win." From ev'ry mountainside, let freedom ring.
Officer Krupke is 10-7 the rant. Have a nice day.
Ofc. Krupke at 6:59 PM
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